


To the Next

by der_tanzer



Series: Moments in Time [2]
Category: Riptide (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-21
Updated: 2010-05-21
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:19:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/der_tanzer/pseuds/der_tanzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick picks up where Cody left off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To the Next

Murray snuggled unconsciously into the warm body, not knowing or caring in his sleep addled state who it might be. A large hand slid over his back, stroking firmly, and he smiled. _No scratchy fingernails. Some nice man, then_. When he woke in another's arms, it was much more likely to be a man than a woman. But it had been so long, he wasn't picky.

_Stupid brain. Shut up and let me sleep_. But his brain wasn't stupid, and it had never been. _Wake up, Murray_, it whispered back gleefully. _Wake up and see who it is. Who did you go to bed with last night? _

He drew a sleepy sigh and opened his eyes. Broad chest, soft golden curls, visible abs. Not one of his computing friends, then. No, that hadn't worked out. Nick and Cody had seen them and—all at once his conscious mind woke and caught up with his subconscious so fast the collision gave his brain whiplash.

"Cody?" he whispered, pushing himself up on his hands. The arms around him tightened and Cody smiled, still in the same half-sleep state that Murray had just escaped. He tensed and Cody, tired of the resistance, let go and turned over. Murray slid out of bed, grabbed his robe, and fled.

***

"There you are," Nick said cheerfully when Murray finally came out of the head, still drying his hair. "I was starting to think I'd have to send Leonard Nimoy out in search of you."

"You didn't know I was in the shower?" he asked nervously.

"No, I knew. I just wanted to say that and I didn't think of it yesterday."

"Oh. Did—is Cody awake?"

"No, he's still sound asleep. Come on, I'll make you some breakfast and we'll see if we can wake him up." Nick gave him a cup of coffee and they went down to the galley together.

"Do you want me to make you something?"

"No, cereal's fine," Murray said. "In fact, I can get it."

"No, sit. Are you okay, Boz? You're awfully jumpy for a guy who got laid a bunch of times yesterday."

"Yes, well…" He trailed off, blushing furiously, and tried to focus on his coffee cup. But there wasn't much to see. "Nick, are things really okay? I really didn't ruin everything?"

"So far as I know. Cody decided to spend the night with you; that seems like a good sign."

"For me," he said softly.

"For me, too. Murray, I'm not jealous. I told you, nothing can come between us. Cody and me, we're practically the same person. You know that. I've got no problem sharing him with our mutual best friend."

"I know. I mean, I believe you. I believe you mean it now, at least. But he was yours first…"

"He'll always be mine. Murray, buddy, I love you, but it would take a lot more than, well, _you_ to split us up."

Murray laughed, sounding like himself for the first time that morning.

"I suppose it's possible to take that wrong, but I'm not going to. It makes me feel better, in fact."

"Good. Here's your cereal. I'm gonna go shake up sleeping beauty before he wastes the whole day."

Murray ate his corn flakes with undue pleasure, feeling better than he had in days. Maybe years. Or maybe ever. Yeah, that one sounded about right.

Nick went into the forward cabin and took a minute to smile down on his friend, his once and future lover, sprawled out on Murray's narrow cot. They'd have to do something about that if this was going to go much farther. But he wasn't in the mood for logistics just now. He sat on the edge of the bed and cupped Cody's cheek him his palm, leaning in to kiss him softly. Cody turned toward him as mindlessly as he had turned away from Murray's departure, but opened his eyes as the kiss went on.

"Hey, sunshine," Nick said, sitting back and enjoying his friend's confusion.

"Morning," Cody yawned, rubbing his eyes to cover his expression.

"Something you want to tell me?"

"I'm trying to remember. I—right, I couldn't sleep last night. I was thinking about Murray and we sort of met up in the salon."

"I figured. So, did you learn anything new?" There was teasing glint in Nick's eyes that made Cody feel like he should be embarrassed, and he knew from experience that the best way to handle that was to give it right back.

"As a matter of fact, I did. I learned that being on top is more fun, but being on the bottom's not bad. And Murray's pretty good either way."

"Wow. Lot of information there."

"You asked. Let him show you, Nick. You need a steady hand the first time. And then there're some things you and I can do, if you want."

"Yeah, I think I want that." Then, suddenly recalling yesterday's conversation, his blue eyes went stormy and he had to ask, "Cody, you're not going to drop out on me again, are you? Because if you do, that sweet little guy's going to blame himself and—"

"I know," Cody said, with a smile that calmed the storm. "But we're grownups now, Nick. We'll be all right. At least I will be, after I get a shower and something to eat. Is anyone making breakfast?"

"I am. Whatever you want, just say the word."

"Great. Ham and eggs in fifteen?"

"You bet." Nick kissed him again, realizing for about the fiftieth time in the last twenty-four hours how much he'd missed it. Amazing how they'd been able to be so strong about something so completely pointless.

***

Over breakfast, Cody said he wanted to go fishing. It wasn't subtle and even Murray guessed what he was really angling for. Nick volunteered at once to go shopping with him to stock up on supplies, and Murray offered to do the engine checks while they were gone. He'd been studying the manuals with his usual enthusiasm for anything mechanical and could do the basic maintenance almost as well as Cody.

Walking up to the parking lot, Nick let his arm brush Cody's as he always did, and felt that electric tingle he'd missed so much without even knowing it. Amazing how something so primal could lie dormant for so long and then spring to life again, fully formed. To the casual observer, they looked the same as always. Smiling and laughing, touching each other just a little too much, looking as married as they always had, but feeling it for the first time.

Nick felt self-conscious in the store and wished Cody would stop blushing every time their eyes met, but when he thought about it, he found himself getting a little warm, too. So much time lost, and now so many new possibilities. He felt sure that Murray's enthusiasm would see them through any uncertainties, as it must have done last night, judging by Cody's sleepy embarrassment. When they got home, Nick was going to tease him to death over this. If he remembered to. Listening to Cody laugh, watching the light dance over his bright gold head, Nick suspected it might be possible to get lost in him and never think again.

But Cody was like sunlight on the water himself. He couldn't be clutched in the hands or tucked away safely below decks. He had to be free, and that meant there was always a chance he could disappear. For a moment the sun passed behind a cloud and Nick was chilled. Then Cody turned that smile on him, holding up an orange and asking how many they wanted, and all was right with the world again.

***

When they got back, Murray had the engines humming and space cleared in the galley for the groceries. He and Nick put them away while Cody cast off the lines and headed out into the harbor. Neither spoke, and Nick felt his nervousness returning. He shot questioning glances Murray's way, and his friend met them all with a gentle smile. If Murray was nervous it didn't show, and that made Nick feel even worse. The only thing worse than having no confidence was knowing that other people did. If someone had reminded him then that it was his idea, he probably would have hit that person right in the mouth.

Murray broke the silence at last by suggesting that Nick go up to the wheelhouse while he finished with the groceries. Nick tried not to show his relief and was even generous enough to offer to stay. But the second time Murray said it, Nick squeezed his shoulder gratefully and left.

"What are you doing up here?" Cody asked, giving him a mild version of a wicked grin.

"Nothing. Just thought I'd bring you a beer."

"So where is it?"

"I forgot, all right? Cody, can we talk about last night?"

"Sure. Something bothering you?"

"I don't know. A little. It's just that—"

"Come on Nick, spit it out. Are you changing your mind now?"

"No. I'm just thinking—you said it was okay? It didn't hurt too much?"

"No, not too much," Cody shrugged, studying the horizon as if he didn't know the way.

"And you weren't—scared?"

"Of Murray? No, I wasn't scared." He glanced at Nick then and his eyes were kind. "Is that it, buddy? You're scared of Murray all of a sudden?"

"No," he said defensively. "And—it's not all of a sudden."

"What's that mean?"

"I don't know. He just—he can be—he intimidates me sometimes, all right?" Nick sat down and ran his hands through his hair, unable to face the laughter that was sure to follow. But Cody didn't laugh. He ran one hand over Nick's hunched shoulders and then focused on steering the boat. After a moment, Nick went on.

"He's so smart, you know? And he doesn't take charge very often, but when he does, when he's in his element, you can't do anything with him. You can't argue, or, if you do, you can't win."

"Nick, it doesn't have anything to do with being smart. Do you love the guy or not?"

"You know I do."

"And you liked being with him yesterday. He didn't make you do anything you didn't want to, did he?"

"I never said he did."

"I know, just hear me out. You get to set your own limits, Nick. I know that, and so does Murray. What he did with me, I asked for. And just because I did, that doesn't mean you have to."

"No, I want to. It isn't that. I don't know how to explain it."

"Maybe you don't have to. Don't you think if you tell him how you feel, he'll understand? I mean, that big brain's good for a lot of things."

"No kidding."

"Wait, is that it? You're not scared, you just don't like the idea of Murray knowing more than you about something that's supposed to be your area of expertise."

Nick flushed and this time Cody did laugh.

"I'm right, aren't I? You're supposed to be the top stud on this boat and now suddenly he knows how to do things you never even thought about before."

"Shut up."

"I _am_ right. Jeez, Nick, are you that insecure?"

"I'm not insecure. But you know how out of control he can get when he's really excited about something. Enthusiasm is his strong suit, after all."

"Well, you'll just have to take my word for it. And don't forgot, it's Murray. He doesn't have it in him to hurt anyone."

"Yeah, there's something to that. I've never even seen him step on a spider if he could catch it and put it outside."

"Remember how upset he was that time he accidentally dropped one in the harbor? I thought he was going to go in after it."

"And then he had those nightmares. That was bad." Nick was shaking his head, smiling at the memory, but not laughing at his gentle friend.

"Yeah, it kind of was. But it ought to make you feel better, too. It's Murray, and you and me. No one's going to get hurt, okay?"

Nick gave him an appraising look, wondering if he meant hurt at all, or just in a physical sense. In his heart he knew that taking that last step with Murray was just a prelude to taking it with Cody, and he feared the change that might follow almost as much as he anticipated the pleasure.

"And you really think we can stay friends?"

"We did last time." Cody turned to him again and smiled. They were through the channel and into open water where there was a lot less to watch out for. "You said nothing would come between us and I believe you. Nick, I love you more than anyone, except maybe my mom, and nothing's going to change that. We can run away, we can deny it, but it doesn't change the fact. You and me, we're in it for the duration. And if Murray wants to be in it with us, I'm thrilled to have him."

"Until he leaves us, right?"

"He might, but I doubt it. His whole life is work anyway. I think he'll probably see having sex without dating as a real time saver."

"That's a good point," Nick grinned. "We might get more cases done that way."

"Unless we decide to stay at sea forever."

"That good, huh?"

"Why don't you be a man and find out for yourself?" Cody was laughing and Nick kicked him halfheartedly. Staying at sea forever sounded like a good idea.

"Find out what?" Murray asked, popping into the wheelhouse with two cans of beer.

"Nothing," Nick said, blushing so hard that Cody laughed again. Murray looked a little disappointed and handed over the beer.

"Aren't you having any?" Cody asked.

"Well, no. I didn't want to get too silly this early in the day."

"I don't know, a little silly might be good." Cody cracked the beer, took a drink and handed it to him. "Go ahead. I think at this point we can share germs."

Murray smiled, shy and grateful, and took a small sip before giving it back.

"I was just making lunch. Do you know when we might be dropping anchor?"

"Oh, another twenty minutes or so. If the food's ready, you guys can eat without me."

"No, no, it'll keep." He still looked like he wanted to know what they were talking about but didn't ask again. Nick stood, wrapped an arm around his shoulders and offered him a sip from his beer. Murray took it, appreciating the gesture for what it was, an apology for not sharing the conversation. When he handed it back, Nick pulled him closer and kissed him, softly at first, and then more forcefully as he responded. Murray felt the chill of the can between his shoulder blades as Nick held him, a sharp counterpoint to the warmth uncoiling in his belly.

When Murray kissed him back, Nick remembered why he hadn't had all of these fears yesterday.

"Maybe you two should go below and _not_ have lunch," Cody laughed.

Murray was blushing more furiously even than Nick as he pulled away and accepted another drink.

"No," he said shyly, watching Nick's expression from under lowered lids. "He doesn't want to be alone with me. Do you, Nick?"

"It isn't that," Nick said, not meeting his eyes.

"Whatever it is, there's time," Murray said. "Whatever's going to happen can wait until after lunch at least." He turned to go and Cody rose from his captain's chair, catching him by the arm.

"Don't go, babe. Hang out a while, take in the view. Isn't the ocean beautiful today?"

"It's nice," Murray agreed, feeling rather like he had to. Cody offered him a drink and he took it, then said he didn't want anymore. He was starting to feel a little lightheaded already and that wasn't how he wanted to spend the day. But he let Nick guide him into a seat, leaning back comfortably against the broad chest as Nick stood behind him, strong arms around Murray's thin shoulders. It felt safe, intimate but not overbearing, and he wondered if he was wrong. Maybe Nick wanted him after all. He wondered if it would ever get straightened out to a degree where they could all be together, or if he would keep going from one to the other until Nick and Cody finally cut him out. He was sure they would in time, in spite of their promises, but Nick's embrace offered him some hope. God, he needed hope.

"You're awfully tense, Boz. What's up with that?" Nick asked, half teasing.

"Nothing. I'm fine," he said, but his neck was so stiff, Cody could see it from three feet away. Nick straightened up, robbing him of the comforting arms, and then began massaging his shoulders. Murray couldn't withhold the quiet moan of pleasure, so like the sounds that had driven them wild yesterday, and both men responded instinctively. Nick, who was actually touching him, had to take a second to adjust himself in his shorts, and Cody swallowed hard at the sight. He was tempted to drop anchor right where they were, or maybe just drift a while, and a lesser sailor might have done it.

"You're doing that on purpose," he said and Murray looked up, quick and guilty.

"Doing what?"

"Making me want you," Cody smiled. "In about three minutes, I'm going to jump you whether we're clear of the lanes or not."

"Then maybe we'd better go below," Nick said, running his thumbs up the back of Murray's neck. The skinny man shivered, sighing a sigh that wanted to be a moan but wasn't quite, and that decided Nick. He grabbed Murray's hand, pulled him out of his seat, and led him down to the aft cabin, Cody's good natured jealousy following in the form of vague threats and pleas.

"We'll let him listen," Nick said, going to work at once on Murray's high buttoned shirt.

"Is he mad?"

"Of course not. He'll drop anchor as soon as we're out of the shipping lanes and probably come join us. If that's okay with you."

"If it's okay with me? Nick, I told you, there can't be a couple if I'm part of it. It can only be the two of you, or all of us."

"And I still don't understand why you think that, but it doesn't matter right now. It is all of us, but it doesn't always have to be. We can be alone sometimes."

"I thought you didn't want to."

"Well, I do." But he still wasn't quite sure what it was he wanted. In his mind he kept seeing Cody behind Murray, holding the thin, pale body in his arms and making him howl with pleasure, and he knew he wanted that. But he didn't know if it was fair to ask for something he might not be able to give in return.

Murray saw the hesitancy in his eyes and, for a wonder, interpreted it correctly. Ducking his head, he kissed Nick under the jaw, licking slowly behind his ear and biting down his neck. He felt Nick start to go weak and pushed him back toward the bed. The bigger man stumbled along obediently, as he had before, and sat down when his calves collided with the side of his bunk. Murray knelt on the edge of the bed, straddling his thighs, kissing and tickling, letting Nick ease him out of his shirt.

"You're so pretty," Nick whispered, biting his nipple erect. Murray laughed, holding still, not being a threat. "Is it all right that I say that? It doesn't offend you?"

"What, being pretty? No, Nick, I'm not offended." He was still laughing, holding the dark head to his chest. Nick's hands slid down Murray's back, gripped his narrow hips for a moment, and then moved around the front to unbutton his fly. He was taking charge now and Murray let him. Murray might be the more experienced one, but this was still the role he was most comfortable with.

They undressed each other slowly, touching and kissing, taking their time. All of their contact yesterday had been hurried, even after Murray and Cody had showered and returned to him. Each seemed to feel that there was a limited amount of time to do a vast number of things, and while it was a lot of fun, there hadn't been much romance in it.

Today, Nick wanted to experience everything. He pressed the other man down on the bed and worked him over thoroughly, biting gently at prominent bones, tasting salty sweat and excitement. Murray surrendered to him, his natural response when either of his friends wanted anything, just holding on and not knowing that the desperate grip of his long, lithe fingers was more arousing to Nick than anything else.

"Murray, can I fuck you? Will you let me?" he whispered, nuzzling into the vulnerable throat.

"God, yes," Murray sighed. He thought of lubricant, almost suggested they go to his cabin, and then Nick was pulling a tube from the pocket of his jeans on the floor.

"Went shopping this morning, remember?" he said and Murray laughed.

"You're a genius, Nick Ryder."

"Knowing you has been good for me." He rolled Murray over playfully and kissed him between the shoulder blades. "Is that all right? I don't want to see you on the floor right now."

"It's fine." His bony knees hurt anyway, and later he would realize that Nick knew that. But now he was distracted by the mouth on his back, licking and kissing , hot and wet down his spine. When asked, he remembered to give Nick the same instructions that he had given Cody yesterday, when Nick was too dazed and happy to pay attention. Nick had more questions, but once he began to properly prepare the lean body for his entrance, Murray lost interest in answering them. Moaning, pleading, he flexed his back, fucking himself on Nick's thick fingers, crying sharply when they came in contact with his tender gland.

"I'd ask if you're sure about this, but you'd probably laugh at me," Nick whispered, pushing Murray's legs farther apart.

"I would," he panted, bracing his elbows and bringing his knees up just enough that he could help himself if it went wrong. But he was sure it wouldn't. "Just go slow, if you can."

_If?_ Nick thought. _Is it going to be that good? _ Suddenly trembling with impatience, he rested his weight on one hand and guided himself in with the other. Murray tensed just a little, took a deep breath and pushed back. Nick groaned, wanting to make him slow down for his own sake, and lacking the moral constitution to do so.

"Careful, Boz," was the best he could do.

"Does it hurt?" Murray asked, so earnestly that Nick laughed.

"I don't know. Does it?"

"You can't hurt me," he sighed, as if it were a physical impossibility, and rocked forward on his elbows. Nick tried to follow, but wasn't quick enough. Murray thrust back against him, angling carefully to make Nick hit his prostate, and they cried out together. After that, things got a little sloppy. Murray rocked faster, Nick let his body rest more heavily upon him, and somehow they found themselves holding hands, kissing and biting, panting into each other's mouths. Nick let it carry him until he started to come. Only then did his sense of moral responsibility reassert itself, causing him to tear one hand free and reach for Murray's so far neglected shaft. He tried to express with his hand what he was feeling, buried deep in the tight heat of Murray's body, and knew he was failing even as he came. He bucked hard, pounding the tender gland, and even in the throes of his own ecstasy, was surprised to feel Murray coming in his hand. Murray's cries of pleasure were more whimpers, though, and Nick was on the verge of asking if he was all right, when he realized he was crushing the smaller man.

Nick rose up on his hands and withdrew carefully, not knowing if it would hurt. Murray lay still, breathing heavily, and didn't move until he felt Nick's hand on his shoulder. Only then did he turn his head, smiling but still trying to catch his breath.

"Are you okay?" Nick asked, heart pounding with fear. If he'd hurt the little guy he'd never forgive himself.

"I'm fine. I told you, you can't hurt me."

"That doesn't make any sense, Boz. Of course I can."

"Not really." Murray turned on his side and reached for the sheet. They would have to get up soon, but it looked like there was going to be a conversation first and he was chilly. "You could only hurt me if you _wanted_ to. Or if you were indifferent."

Nick moved closer and pulled the sheet over them both. He slipped one arm under Murray's head and settled him comfortably against his chest.

"I think you're wrong, babe. Just the fact that I love you won't keep me from doing something wrong by accident."

"That doesn't matter. That's just pain, it's not _hurt_."

"I think you lost me."

"It's simple, Nick. I don't care about a little pain. Good things hurt sometimes. It would only be bad if you did it because you didn't care whether you hurt me or not, and you wouldn't do that. You'll always care."

"Yeah, I will. But I don't want you to feel pain, either."

"Good. Neither do I. I'm just saying that sometimes it's okay."

Nick wasn't sure how to argue with that and conceded the point with a kiss. So long as Murray knew he was safe, there was really nothing left to debate.

***

They were in the shower when the boat stopped moving. Below decks, the anchor winch was loud and unmistakable. Both men rinsed themselves, hurried into their robes and went to meet Cody for lunch.

"Not getting dressed?" Cody teased, laying the food out on the salon table.

"Thought we might be getting undressed again pretty soon," Nick shrugged. "Isn't that what we came out here for?"

"It wasn't for the fishing?" Murray asked innocently. Cody gave him a quick look and smiled when he was sure that it was a joke.

"We might get some fishing in. But mostly I thought we'd get laid. Here, have a sandwich."

Murray had made the food and knew which one was his. He'd made everyone's favorites, one of his frequent, subtle bids for approval, and it didn't go unnoticed.

"This is good," Nick said. "I'm starving."

"Work a little too hard, did you?" Cody asked with a wink.

"Hard as I could," he smiled and Murray blushed.

"No one's making fun of you, Boz," Cody said, seeing his discomfiture.

"Oh, I know," he said earnestly. "It's just…I'm new at this."

"We all are," Nick said.

"No, you've been together before," Murray reminded them. "It's the threesome that's different. _ I'm_ different."

"Different is good," Cody said, reaching across the table to touch his hand. "I really enjoyed spending the night with you."

"And I enjoyed the nooner," Nick seconded. "In fact, would you maybe consider moving into our cabin? Just to sleep and—stuff. You'd still have your office in the bow."

"You'd want me to do that? I wouldn't be, you know, intruding?" He sounded hesitant but hopeful and the guys exchanged a glance, making sure they agreed. Since Nick brought it up, Cody spoke next.

"Intruding? No. No, way. If we're going to have this relationship, we should have it. You didn't think we'd have sex with you during the day and close the door on you at night, did you?"

"No, not exactly. I just kind of thought you'd still want to be alone sometimes."

"And we probably will be. But you need to come and be with us when you want to," Cody said. "I've told you before and I'll tell you again: you are always welcome wherever we are. Right, Nick?"

"Absolutely. Of course, the beds are a little small, so you'll have to pick one. Maybe alternate."

"But what if I can't sleep, or I need to work all night?"

"If you can't sleep, we'll help," Nick said. "And if you need to work, you can. Although you do that too much. You need to rest, too, you know."

"Not always. If it won't bother you, I'll just stay up sometimes."

"It won't bother me," Nick said, looking to Cody for confirmation. "So long as it's not because you think we don't want you."

"Right," Cody nodded. "You can work, but it's not always going to come first, okay?"

"Work has always come first," he said doubtfully, pulling his sandwich apart with nervous fingers.

"We'll see about that. Don't stress, Boz. This is supposed to be fun," Cody said, stroking his arm under the sleeve of his robe. Murray shivered and dropped his sandwich.

"If I didn't need to work," he said quietly, "I'd probably never want to get out of bed."

"I know what you mean," Nick smiled. "That's why we're out here, where the clients can't bother us for a while. We probably don't need to get back before Monday, do we, Cody?"

"Not so far as I know. You'll probably be tired of us by then, anyway."

"Oh, no, I don't think so," Murray said earnestly.

"Well, you'll be sore at least," Nick said, raising one eyebrow.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "But that's just pain, remember? I don't care about that."

"You don't?" Cody asked. He'd missed that conversation.

"No more than you do. I've never seen pain stop you from doing whatever you wanted. I want to make love with you, and it would take a lot more pain than either of you would ever inflict to make me stop."

"You sound so sure."

"I am. I know you felt a little pain last night. Did it make you not want to do it again?"

"No," Cody said slowly. "But I figured it would get easier, right?"

"Some. I mean, I think it always hurts a little, but in my experience, the increase in pleasure more than makes up for it."

"Is—uh—is that a lot of experience?" Nick asked.

"Not really." He picked at his sandwich a little and then looked up, understanding in his eyes. "I've only done that with a couple other men."

"A couple?"

"Well, I've done other stuff with a few others. But while I don't mind a little pain, I don't like getting hurt, and that's what happens when you let people who don't care get too close." He stared at his plate, appearing lost in thought, and Cody stopped Nick from asking any more questions.

"So, does anyone actually want to fish?" he said, almost changing the subject. Murray smiled, shaking his head, and Nick said no. Although the words hadn't been spoken, they had all just agreed to go back to bed after lunch.

***

This time Murray lay on the bed and watched while Cody sucked Nick, slow and sweet, savoring him not like a last meal, but like a dish he hadn't tasted in far too long. Making it last, making Nick sweat and beg. Rough hands dug into Cody's hair, and when he glanced at Murray, he saw the other man stroking himself, smiling that strange knowing smile. Cody had often wondered what Murray thought he knew when he smiled like that, and now he had a pretty good idea.

Nick thrust into Cody's warm mouth, falling almost instinctively into the old rhythm, remembering without thought or effort just how they used to do this. How good it used to be. But they were older now, more in sync, more in love, and it was so much better.

Cody managed to bring him off without coming himself, and then politely asked Murray if he'd mind getting nailed again. Murray gave him that peaceful, knowing smile and said of course not.

***

Afterwards, when everyone was satisfied for the time being, Cody asked a question he felt he should have asked before.

"Murray, I've been thinking about something you said last night."

"Oh?" he said, sleepy but trying to sound interested. He was lying between them, his head on Cody's chest, while Nick idly rubbed his back.

"Yeah, you said your first time was kind of rough. That you wanted to make it better for me. Can I ask what happened?"

Murray shrugged and nestled more into his arms. He was vaguely aware of Nick's hand beginning to move slower, but attached no importance to the fact.

"It was my fault," he said, so predictably that Cody almost laughed. He kept it to a smile and quietly asked why. "I was eighteen and about to go in the Army. We met in a bar; you could drink at eighteen then, and I went home with him. I didn't tell him that it was my first time, and he was drunk. Kind of—aggressive. So he hurt me a little and I started being more particular about who I did what with."

"He hurt you a _little_?" Cody asked, thinking that he would have used that term himself last night, and wondering what Murray's standard of pain really was. The guy nearly cried over paper cuts, but something that sounded suspiciously like drunken rape was apparently no big deal.

"Jeez, Murray," Nick breathed, sliding his arm around the narrow waist. "What made you even try it again?"

"Well, there was a minute or so where I thought it might be okay. You know, it had potential. If I could be with someone who was thinking about me, and not just how fast he could come. And even if it hadn't been okay for that minute, everything I said before is still true. Men are still easier to pick up, they still like me better than women do, and they want to fuck. I'd almost have to."

"No," Cody whispered.

"What? I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"I said _no_. Murray, you weren't putting out because you _had_ to, were you?"

"Not really," he said, shrugging again. "I like it, you know. Couldn't you tell?"

"I thought so," Cody said, about to start feeling very guilty. "But you don't have to and—and we don't want you to if you don't want it. You don't owe us anything, okay?"

"I know that," he said, tilting his head back so Cody could see his smile. "I've always known that you were my friends. You'd never take advantage of me."

Guilt set in for real and Cody saw if reflected on Nick's face. Murray saw it as well and laughed.

"You've never taken advantage of me," he assured them. "I want to work long hours and cook for you and feel you come inside me. Those things make me happy."

"You know you're probably too good for us, right?" Nick asked, half teasing. Murray laughed again (and how long had it been since they'd heard him laugh so easily or so often?), and his gaze caught theirs one at a time.

"I'm sure you'll get better," he said. Then he snuggled back into Cody's chest and closed his eyes, still chuckling softly to himself. Nick stopped thinking about taking advantage and started wondering when they could go again. When he could do it with Cody, and how Murray would really feel about that. It was complicated, and bound to become even more so, but none of the men who lay dozing in that bed on that hot afternoon at sea doubted for an instant that it would be worth it.


End file.
